Misunderstood

How do you make yourself more understandable?
How do I show them what's inside my head? I know it could be hard to explain sometimes, why I say what I say and what I do what I do.
I sometimes don't even understand myself.... Is that when is bad? What should I do to make things flow the right way? What should I do to fix it?

If you ask me today what do I want to be happy: I would have to say change. I need to change some of the routines. It has become to monotonous and I'm tired of the results. Can we change things a bit? I think so- now it's time to think around on what areas to change. Also, I have to start looking for a place to move. I need some inspiration on where to go. Maybe day 8, I will have a better idea. Maybe it will take some more time. Idk. Until then we will see.

I know you help me .... Stay here. Don't leave yet. You are the only one that understands my soul. Love always.

~me

Broken news

Today is the beginning of a new me. I know that I was born to write and I continuously ask myself why I don't do it any more. Well things happen in life that shaken us and makes us realize that I have to do it, and do it right now.

I wish people could be inside my head sometimes. I feel so misunderstood. It hurts so bad. Why people judge me constantly? Why I can't do what I feel is right? Why I have to do what would make people feel right? Ok, I get it.... I have to fake love. I have to fake passion and tell people lies about life into their faces.  It hurts me to see where are we headed.

Is something wrong with me? Could someone tell me? I could be losing my mind? I could have a lot of anger inside of me that I am not aware of... I just want peace. I just want a second, could you just give me a minute to take it all in....?

Change- let's talk about change. Who feels comfortable with change? Not a lot of people do well with change right away. It's hard, especially when you were so comfortable. I need to learn to let go and be more open to what other people feel and do. I know I'm stubborn and I want to be my way, but at the same time I need to understand what other people feel when I look at them and what I say to them.

Today I received some broken news and I'm going to bed with a broken heart. Tomorrow it will heal, but today is sore. I just want to fix it all but I need to start from its core. Inside-out. I need to mend my heart. It's been a lot lately. With me being sick and also loosing My little man.

Lets just say that after the end of this blog: I will become understood by others and I guess I will be able to understand myself better as well. Thank you for being there with me along the way.

May the writing inspiration.... Begins!

~me